Lord, is it me?

on the night before His crucifixion,
Jesus dined with His disciples one last time..
in the afternoon,
He had sent His disciples to a certain man
to tell him that his place would be used by the Lord..

the Jewish feast is not of that in the picture..
this a western depiction..
the Jewish feasting table is U-shaped
and people eat reclining.

On Jesus' right sat Judas,
on His left sat John..

Imagine this..
On the right of Jesus sat Judas the betrayer..
On the right of Jesus sat John the beloved of God (meaning of JOHN)
no one would have suspected either one as a betrayer..
they were disciples of Jesus
they acted like disciples of Jesus
they were like their Master..
but that was on the outside..
what about the inside?

one thing we can learn from here is
not everyone who enters the presence of God
goes away blessed..
it is supposed to be that way
unfortunately, itz not so
with Judas as the perfect example..

he was with Jesus for 3 years..
he experienced things we dream about..
he saw Jesus working
he saw Jesus healing ppl..
he saw everything he needed to see to believe..
but at the end of the day,
he sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver..

how come?
i have alwayz wondered..
what if Judas had not chosen to betray Jesus?
what would have happened?
what if this, what if that..
frankly, we would never know..
because it was a personal choice to begin with..

i was talking to my dad..
do u knw Judas came looking for Jesus?
Jesus didnt find him fishing, or mending his net..
it was he who came to Jesus..

wow..
that changes alot of things doesnt it?
so often, we come to God..
seeking something..
is it the right thing?
are we having the right motives?

Jesus let Judas sit at His right..
He let him have the honour of sitting at the right..
even John the beloved, sat on the left..
He fed Judas 1st..
He washed Judas feet 1st..

how did that dinner with Jesus end that way?
how did Judas let Satan overcome him?

at the end of the day,
we have to ask ourselves this question..
Lord, is it me?

am i the betrayer,
who came seeking You,
but dropped out somewhere on the way?
have i come to You or am i coming to You with the right motives?
can You show me where to change, how to change?

or

am i the beloved..
the one You came seeking..
the one who was hot-tempered,
but was soothed by Your love?

am i the one who You love, Your beloved?
or am i the one who has hardened my heart towards You?
Lord, is it me?
is it me?

His last words,
were not of spite..

"Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. ¹³"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. ¹⁵I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

signing off,