David Wilkerson's Memorial

MOVED

I have MOVED!

Will let you know only if you ask! =)

MOVED

I have MOVED!

Will let you know only if you ask! =)

Alabaster Jar

Heart pulsing
Blood pumping
Trembling, she drew near

Did He, the prophet
the one they called the Christ
Did He know
of her many trangressions?

There was something about Him
A fire in His eyes
It made her fear yet long to draw near

As she entered the room
Holding her alabaster jar
She drew near

Tears in her eyes
She emptied her jar
and He looked
right in her eyes

Could He tell?
the longing and the struggles inside
the longing to start anew; afresh

As she broke her jar
at the feet of this man
she felt burning stares
all around

Heart pulsing
Blood pumping
Weeping as she washed His feet
with her tears

His gaze stays fixed
saying only "your sin is forgiven"
and giving her an endearing smile

From whence did this liberation come from?
O the freedom!

It is this man
this Christ they preached off
He took her burdens

She made her exit
after her presentation
knowing that she was cleansed once and for all

She stopped at the door
on her way out
and took a glance back

no matter what they said
this man, Jesus
had set her free

There is something about Him
A fire in His eyes
It makes me fear
yet long to draw near

I bring my alabaster jar
as the woman at Simon's house
knowing what lies ahead

I surrender
I rest
I wipe Your feet with my tears

Knowing that You are Love
You delight in showing me mercy
and desire for me to draw near

There is something about You Jesus
A fire in Your eyes
it makes me fear, yet long to draw near

so I come
with my alabaster jar

IDOP..

It is now 11.32pm

It's International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Churches today.

I'm quite embarrassed actually. How flippant I am and can be when it comes to matters of religion, while my brothers and sisters not halfway across the world are fighting for their right to believe.

Quite "amazed" at my "spirituality" or whatever that it stands for. Gosh, it's just so overwhelming.

Here is a song for you (my Christian friends) to consider the least of our brothers facing persecution, while we sit at home on Facebook all day.

Least of these - Lindsey Kane

Seemingly she has nothing to smile about,
Yet she smiles,
She has nothing nothing to laugh about,
Yet she laughs,
She has everything about which to cry,
Yet she holds her head up high (x2)

Jesus be the hope to the least of these,
Give them through our hands or all that they need,
Jesus be the hope to the least of these,
Give them You

Seemingly he has nothing to sing about,
Yet he sings,
He has no one to love him,
Yet he loves,
He has everything about which to cry,
Yet he holds his head up high (x2)

Jesus loves all the little children,
All the children of the world,
Red & yellow; black & white,
They all precious in His sight,
Jesus loves all the little children,
All the children of the world

**The video has nothing to do with Persecuted Churches, but it is the same song.

God, forgive my disregard and my unfaithfulness to You. Help me be someone who can be the difference where I am. Help me the person You are looking for to stand in the gap. Bless Your hurting Bride Lord. The part of her that is suffering just to lift Your name high. Keep her and ravish her heart once again!

Signing off,

MarcusDS

Death and all his friends..

Where do I start?

So much has been happening.

My Chinese Orchestra instructor passed away. I was not as close to him as I would have wanted to be. And now he is gone. I don't think it is wrong to say, I was one of his favourites In the Cello group. I still remember the funny and quirky things he would say during our practices.

I had his number in my handphone. I had his facebook. I knew where he was every Friday. But I never made that move to go and see him. To make an impact in his life, just as he had made in mine. And now he is gone.

And I know I won't see him again.

It may offend people if I say that he did not go to heaven because he wasn't a Christian. But that's not the main point of this blog. So please don't pick a fight with me over this.

What I am trying to say is, life is so fragile. One day you're here, one day you aren't. Nothing material is permanent. We are all temporal. The Psalmist said that our lives wither like grass. But God, God is eternal. His loving mercy, His good kindness, His grace and Being endures, forever and ever.

Folks, life is short.

Stop "reading people's diary". Stop "partying till 6am". You've only got one life to live. Make it count.

If you're Christian and you're reading this, the time is near. The Day is drawing near. The Day that we won't be able to do the things we have been called to do.

I didn't take the opportunity to share what I believed in with my Instructor. That is my one regret. That I did not live the life I am called to live for him to see how God plays the most vital role in my life.

If you're a non-Christian, pick up your phone, text that friend, call that person. Don't wait till it's too late. Release will only come when forgiveness goes out. Stop being angry over little petty issues.

You only live once. Don't party it away in idleness.

Make it count!

In loving memory of Ng SuKuang.

Signing off, MarcusDS

Where do I start?

So much has been happening.

My Chinese Orchestra instructor passed away. I was not as close to him as I would have wanted to be. And now he is gone. I don't think it is wrong to say, I was one of his favourites In the Cello group. I still remember the funny and quirky things he would say during our practices.

I had his number in my handphone. I had his facebook. I knew where he was every Friday. But I never made that move to go and see him. To make an impact in his life, just as he had made in mine. And now he is gone.

And I know I won't see him again.

It may offend people if I say that he did not go to heaven because he wasn't a Christian. But that's not the main point of this blog. So please don't pick a fight with me over this.

What I am trying to say is, life is so fragile. One day you're here, one day you aren't. Nothing material is permanent. We are all temporal. The Psalmist said that our lives wither like grass. But God, God is eternal. His loving mercy, His good kindness, His grace and Being endures, forever and ever.

Folks, life is short.

Stop "reading people's diary". Stop "partying till 6am". You've only got one life to live. Make it count.

If you're Christian and you're reading this, the time is near. The Day is drawing near. The Day that we won't be able to do the things we have been called to do.

I didn't take the opportunity to share what I believed in with my Instructor. That is my one regret. That I did not live the life I am called to live for him to see how God plays the most vital role in my life.

If you're a non-Christian, pick up your phone, text that friend, call that person. Don't wait till it's too late. Release will only come when forgiveness goes out. Stop being angry over little petty issues.

You only live once. Don't party it away in idleness.

Make it count!

In loving memory of Ng SuKuang.

Signing off, MarcusDS

Who can understand the turmoil in my heart?

The raging storm that is tearing me apart?

You alone O my God. You can. Don't hide Your face from me.

I need You now, more than ever.

TLS - Chapter One: What is Love?

[Disclaimer]

This is NOT conclusive and NOT absolute. Once again, I clarify that I do not know all there is to know on love. I am also learning on the way. But I hope that this helps you view love through a different perspective.

I am getting very frustrated as I type this out because, there aren't many English words that can be used to fully explain what I want to say! It's not just my vocab, it's because language is limited. So I advise you to look beyond the words. Look beyond the theory. Don't let your mind stop you from trying to grasp the meaning of love.

Once again, these are all inspired by and based on Christian values. But, I think we can afford a few lessons on love, considering how deprived of it we all are, right? =)

---------------------

I took a sip of my iced plain water, taking in all the conversations going around me. There was a lot of chatter on who had got hitched recently, who broke up and what not. I listened silently, trying to digest as much as I could from my chatty ex-schoolmates.

I was out on a gathering with my ex-schoolmates. 7 of them. 7 girls to be exact. I was the only guy, and they were sorta updating me, and the others as they pored upon each other's love life.

I turned to A and we started talking. Since we were all on the topic of hook ups and recent hitching, I asked her whether anyone was vying for her attention. She immediately started blushing and I knew something was up. B who was sitting next to A answered for her almost immediately saying that not only was someone after her, but she had accepted the guy's request to be his girlfriend.

I was stunned for a few minutes, trying to allow this new information to sink into my numbskull. After it had, obviously, I started bombarding her with questions, trying to get every single detail.

After I was persuaded that I knew more than enough, I now realized why A had had this kind of glow when I first saw her sitting there. She was in a relationship, happy and somewhat satisfied.

She was in love.

~~~~

We often wonder, what actually is love? Yes, we feel it. The effects it has on us are obvious. But what is it actually? Why does love make us feel the way it does?

I don't think there is anyone on this earth who can define love to its fullest detail. It is too diverse, too sacred and too overwhelming for complete understanding. In other words, we cannot harness love to a single definition.

So, in our quest of finding out what love really is, let us first establish what are some of the things that are often mistaken for love.

1. Love is not just emotions.

Love is definitely more then just an emotion. Emotion in simple terms is defined as a response that your mind sends our as neural signals to your situations or surroundings. For example, if you are in a fight, your mind takes in the situation and responds with rage. The depth of the emotion depends on the intensity of the situation. The more intense the situation, the more intense the emotion. That's why the nervousness you feel when you have your blood taken and the nervousness you feel before a major surgery differs greatly.

Since this applies for our emotions,if love were merely an emotion, that would mean that when situations change, so does the depth, the height and the quality of love. If this were true, that makes love even more unstable than Uranium or Francium. As situations around us change all the time, does that mean that the definition and the value of love changes with?

NO! This immediately makes it impossible for love to exist merely as an emotion. In actual fact, love is much, much, much deeper than an emotion you feel. Yes, it is a factor of emotion, but love is not essentially an emotion in itself. If it were merely an emotion, than all the above applies to it, and that would make love the most frail and the weakest value that mankind possesses.

The reason why we always assume that love is just an emotion is because it is often confused with affection and infatuation which are both emotions. Our affections for people change daily, our crushes and infatuations change continually, but our love doesn't.

Confusing?

Here is an analogy. Let's say you have a little sister. When she is a good girl, it is very easy to be affectionate towards her. But when she is naughty, you won't be as affectionate towards her at that point of time. Why? Because the situation has changed. Therefore, we respond differently. The level of our affection decreases. We are harsher.

But does that mean your love for her has gone away? No. It hasn't.

Here is another example. Parents who beat their kids when their kids do wrong. Does this mean the parents stopped loving the kids when they picked up the cane?

Note that I said "when their kids do wrong", NOT "abusive parents". I think naughty kids should be beaten! (but that's for another post XD)

These parents still feel love for their children. But their affections for their kids change at that point of time because of the circumstance of the situation. But the affections come back in a little while.

Same with infatuation. Infatuation in plain English is crush la. When you feel good feelings for someone, that is the point of time when you are infatuated. When you are infatuated, certain things in the opposite sex turn you off. These things are not necessarily bad habits, but there are things that turn you off. And infatuation can go away just as it comes. This is clearly an emotion, existing as it is because of the situation you are in at that time.

So, by this, we can conclude that love is not just emotion.

2. Love is not just words.

Today, we use "I love you" for almost everyone. We throw that term around as if it were a "hello" or "goodbye".

Seriously, ask yourself. How many people outside your family have you said "I love you" to this week. If you're like me, having many pet sisters (yes, I am guilty as charged =( ), you'd have probably used it more than 5times this week.

"I love you" has become so common, it has lost most of its meaning and value. It has become a cliche. How can love; pure, sacred love be associated with something so cheap as talk. Yes, there is useful and meaningful and knowledgeable talk, but honestly, how often do we say "I love you" after explaining the quantum theory?

You know what is even suck-ier? Nowadays, we often say "I love you" when we want to get things out from people. When we want to exploit others. You disagree? Well, when your dad allows you to go for that party, or that outing, you usually first respond with an "I love you Daddy" don't you? Or when your friend does something for you and you say "Love you bro/babe".

You're a good and filial daughter? A good friend? Fair enough. Accepted.

What about when some of us are asking someone for sex? When we trade an "I love you" for that person's virginity. Does that justify the use of "I love you"?

How can true love be used in such ungrateful and lying talk? Doesn't this show that love is truly not just words?

3. Love is not just action.

Well, since I have knocked down the two main assumptions of love, love's gotta be action right?

Wrong.

Love is not presents. Yes, though we give our loved ones gifts, but you do not love everyone you give gifts to do you?

Love is not to be confused with the showering of gifts. Materialistic parents shower their kids with gifts. Adulterous business men shower their mistresses with gifts too. If you can clearly categorize these 2 as not real love, how can love merely be action? Just because you do something for someone, does that means you love them?

~~~~

Okay, here comes the punchline. Love is not just emotions, not just words and not just action. But emotions, words and action are love.

Are you more confused now then from whence we began? Haha.

Let me explain. Mere emotions, mere words and mere actions are not love. But love encompasses these 3.

Why did you discredit the 3 elements so quickly? That is what is wrong with our human brain. We are so quick to push things aside. We are a quick fix generation, we want black and white! Indefinite things are viewed as unstable and irrelevant.

The 3 elements above are in actual fact products of love. When we feel love, we express it in these 3 areas. But the 3 on its own do not define love. Love defines these 3. Can you get me?

Love is an application. A practice. A value. A lifestyle. An expression. A belief. Hope. Love is divine.

In its essence, love did not originate from humans. No. Love is not a formula of some scientist. It isn't an idea of a philosopher. Love was given to us. It did not belong to us initially, but yet we have it now. Thus we can only conclude that it was given to us.

One thing that we can clearly confirm is, love is NOT human in nature. Just take a look around you. Does love cause so much pain? So much suffering? For someone to have come up with so intricate, so pure, that "someone" has to be pure in his own nature. In his own being, that "someone" has to be love to create love. To contain love. To maintain love.

Doesn't this just further proves that there IS a God? Not some cosmos holding up the universe. Not some impersonal force that keeps the ying and yang in balance. No! For something so personal as love to exist, the Creator has to be personal, intimate, loving.

If you can think of someone else who fits the description other than God, let me know. I'll eat my shoe. =)

~~~

Is that all? Well, no. Love actually has a form. It has an appearance. A physical appearance.

How so? Just as morse code is interpreted into a message, so is love coded out into our lives. The physical appearance of love is how you live you life. In other words, you are the form of love. You are the appearance of love.

This might be very weird, but look beyond the words. Don't get caught up in the phrasing of my sentences. Try to envision yourself as love. When liquid fills a container, it takes the shape of container. Same thing. When there is love in you, it takes the shape of you. How much width is the neck, or how wide is the bottom. Love takes its form IN you. How you express it out can show whether your "container" is big or small. The shape of love is shown our capacity to love.

When we have love in our lives, naturally our perspectives will change. Our hearts are softened. We actually take time to consider and think about things that we usually don't.

The fact is, all of life comes down the love. Why? Because love is the reason why we do things. Why we work, why we have passions, why we love others. Love motivates us. And if this is so, love has to be much more then sentiment, for who can live on sentiment alone?

Here is a biblical perspective of love.

Love is patient and kind;

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have or boast;

It is not proud or rude.

It does not force its own way;

It is not irritable or hold a grudge;

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love is the greatest paradox of life. Love is not mere action, but it is sacrifice(action). Love is not just an emotion, but it births affection(emotion). Love is not just words, but it affirms and builds us up through words. In love, when you choose to die, you live on. In love, if you try to save what you own, you will lose it.

The bible gave us an ultimatum. There is no greater love than that of a man who lays down his life for his friends. That is the maximum of love. Any higher level of love would be a man laying down his life for his enemies.

Are you still trying to use your brain to figure out what is love? Don't. Use your heart.

Love complements.

Love transcends.

Love transforms.

Love fulfills.

Love commits.

Love endures.

Love loves.

Love never fails. Anything less, isn't love.

Much Love,

MarcusDS

Introduction - I'm on, are you?

[Note]

In this introduction, we will be exploring the feeling of love. We won't go into deep stuff yet. We'll just touch the surface and try to identify the symptoms or rather, the effects of love in our life.

----------------------------

One of our favourite terms that we use when we ask whether so and so are dating is "on"

"Deypa dah on kah belum?"

"Ta gen ta on le ma?"

"Wait, you mean the both of them are on?"

"[no idea how to write in Tamil. If you do, teach me =)]"

Yes folks. On is our all time favourite when we talk about relationships. And not just any relationship, but bg-gf relationships.

It's exciting isn't it? To be "on" with someone. The first feeling you get when you know that the girl (or guy) of your dreams also has a crush on you is literally OMG! You go "wow" and "ooh" and "aah" and if it comes in a text, you don't really know what to reply in the 1st few minutes. If she (or he) tells you over one of your many phone calls, you usually go speechless for the 1st few moments.

A hot feeling comes over you. You break into cold sweat, your heart starts beating so fast and SO VERY LOUD you can hear it as if it's behind your ears. Your blood starts pumping. You feel weak. You feel strong. You feel all the opposites at the same time.

It's kinda ironic how all these "symptoms" match up with malaria right? Haha

Yes friends. Ini semua saya pun pernah rasa lah. It's not news.

But its exhilarating isn't it? It's as though new life has been put in you. You want to scream into the air at this new emotion. This new feeling. This new found thing that people call love, but you don't really care, cause it's just too awesome to understand, and you'd rather be doped than stand there and try to figure it out.

And I'm not exaggerating, because that is what love does to you. To us all. Love makes us feel brand new. Wanted. Appreciated. Love makes us feel, well, simply loved.

And we want it. We desire it. Some of us crave it. We want the attention that love brings. We want to feel the adrenaline rush and that overwhelming feeling.

We see couples almost everywhere we go. Hands held, hugged bodies and kissing lips. Although most of the time it is an eyesore to single people (yes it is!), you've gotta admit there are couples you see that make you go "awwwwh".

When we first hear that our crush crushes us back, the next thing we want to do is to hook up. Naturally. OBVIOUSLY! Why, what numbskull won't want to be together with the girl he likes? The girl he has been vying for, trying to get her attention. Which idiot makes a fool out of himself to woo a girl, gets the girl and friggin' turns her down? That brother is outta his mind!

And so, we "on" la. Macam lampu tau? You boleh kasih switch "on". Jangan sesekali terswitch "off" tau?!

In an era where life is getting more and more competitive and success is viewed by how many assets you have, more and more youngsters are getting involved at an earlier age. The "on" phenomenon is not just happening in our country. It's global. Or as Barney Stinson puts it, "It's a freaking epidemic"!

The urge to get in a relationship can be overwhelming sometimes. Hard to control. And we want to get in the game as fast as we can. The hormones we have push us to go for it and if we're lucky, we get on that train. And if we're not, well better luck next time.

So after all things being said, what is this love that makes us want to be with someone? That makes us do things we would never do on a normal basis? What is love about?

What is love?

Stay tuned and find out more in Chapter 1 - What is Love?

Much Love,

MarcusDS

The Love Series - Love and How to..

Greetings folks.

I have decided to do something a bit different. I am going to do a series of posts on the subject we all love and would love to know more - Love.

That's right folks. This series is entitled Love and How to. And as the title itself, it comprises of 2 parts, namely:-

1) Love

2) How to love

The 1st part will be an introduction to love. Hopefully, this part will answer a lot of questions we have about love. What is it actually? What does it feel like? Why do we love and love to be loved? etc.

The 2nd part will be a more practical part. Once we have a grasp on love, let's learn how to channel it out shall we not? =)

I don't claim to be a love guru. I don't know all there is to know on Love. I am not writing this based on how many girls I've slept with or how many blind dates I scored or how many dames I've wooed. And this is not a self help book telling you how to go out there and score a hottie tonight.

No. I am sincerely writing this for all you people out there looking for love, but in all the wrong places. I am writing this because I too have been in a failed relationship and I too have experienced the heartaches and depression.

And I'm writing this for all you lovebirds who just got together and need some help containing that lovely spark that could turn into a ravaging forest fire. =)

I hope this series will help you, whoever you are. I write this with my Christian perspective and my Christian views, but please know that this is also meant for non-Christians. If you are looking for a "passionate, how to start a love scene" series stop right now. This is not about that. This is about love in its purest form.

What's in it for me you ask. Well, as for me, this series will probably reveal to you the sentimental and romantic part of me that you might not know. And I too need to hear this or rather, read this as it's written down. This will be penned (or rather blogged) out of love, especially for you guys.

Much love,

MarcusDS

Dear Dr. Pornthip..

Here is the link to TBH's inquest videos. You will start by laughing, and you will end up crying.

http://www.malaysiakini.com/v6/link.php?http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2010/08/27/malaysias-funniest-and-tragic-court-video/

Sometimes I wonder, what does Dr. Pornthip think of us Malaysians? I mean like seriously! She is trying to fight for justice and here comes a lawyer who can't even speak English properly. ARRGGH!! I really feel like cursing! I really do. The loyar buruk should go out and hang himself with his own tie!

I am so sad la. This nation arh. Is going to the dumps. It really is.

50 years ago, we could have saved our own butts. 50 years ago, if our leaders followed through the vision of Dato Onn and our forefathers, we could save this nation.

Now, only God can save us.

-----------------------------------

Dear Dr. Pornthip,

I'm so sorry Dr. Pornthip. I apologize on behalf of my accussing, my lying and my *censored* countrymen. I'm so sorry that they have been trying to drag your name through the dirt and trying to discredit, when all you are trying to do is fight for justice.

You can probably call this the Malaysian way. We lie to cover things up. We sell public belongings as if they are our own. We cheat our way through our exams, bribe our way through our problems and we blame the system for the injustice and unrighteousness.

I'm so sorry you have to endure this. Please, accept my apology on behalf of my country.

I believe what you say is true. And I hope that in your quest to fight for Justice and restore righteousness, that you will encounter the King of Justice and Righteousness Himself.

God bless you for your heart Dr. Pornthip. Thanks for enduring through all these things all this while. I am praying for your well being.

Sincerely,

An Ashamed Patriot.

Did I REALLY say that?

Meet the guy who said consummation when he actually meant consumption.

Yes folks. Me =)

Don't judge me! I had 2 minutes to put my thoughts on paper and organize them into a 2 minute speech! LOL

I marvel at my "brilliance" sometimes. It's a God given talent. XD

Exam starts tomorrow. Media fast starts Friday. I might, I might not be blogging. Depends. See how. If I'm impressed to share with you guys, I will.

Ta ta. Cheerios. Auf wiedersehen. Au Revoir. Arriverderci.

Love,

MarcusDS

Negara - Bebas, atau sebaliknya?

I am studying for my Pengajian Am test and I just found something very contradicting in my reference book.

Negara

Negara merujuk kepada sesuatu masyarakat bebas yang menduduki kawasan atau wilayah dalam had sempadan tertentu dan diperintah oleh sesebuah kerajaan.

I know, I know. Don't worry, I'm not an anarchist. But, think about it. It's easily misunderstood. Right? To be governed here could also mean to be ordered around.

Well, I believe the definition of something doesn't lie on paper, but rather on how it is expressed in real life.

So what say you? Are you being governed? Or controlled.

Think about it. Or in the words of Isaac from Grey's Anatomy - Go home. Sleep on it. We'll talk more tomorrow. =)

God bless,

MarcusDS